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The relativity of Cousinism

Cousinism, as defined by me, is a terminology applied to the immaculate nonsense that is shoved upon you in the name of relativity. To explicate this further, the theory of cousinism refers to the fact that in a society bound by kinship, mutual bonding, bloodline and race, human beings are often seen relating to their fellow human being more closely than others when they are bound by certain traits like surname, children of siblings and bullshit.

As Benedict Anderson explains in his famous work  ‘Imagined communities’, the idea of a nation is based on the socially constructed notion of being a part of a particular group. There is only one human race and no matter how much you segregate internally, it is going to be just one big circle of humans in the end. The connoisseurs of the cousin theory surely don’t understand this. Cousins are just normal human beings who may be or not be your friends. Just because they happen to the children of your mom’s sister, dad’s brother does not mean that they are related to you in any way. More often, kids who have poor socialisation record end up having only their cousins as friends. It is like if you are a loser in life with no friends, here take some cousins and be happy!

Being forced into liking someone based on the cousinly parameters is absolutely insane. At times, these so called cousins have never interacted properly through a lifetime and bouncing them together at weddings, family get-togethers is not going to increase the kinship love in them. Facebook also happens to be a big culprit here. These days cousins judge you from you interaction with others on the social networks. They read your blog, every word of it and all they can understand and comment is that you fart sideways. I am not obligated to be polite to them over my friends just because we are related in the imaginary mindframe. I have invested good amount of time with my friends and my kinship lies there only.

In the sociological sense, a cousin is defined as is a relative with whom a person shares common ancestors. Then in that case, all of us have evolved from the common ancestor, Ape! Does that mean that every single human being is my cousin? If that is the case then it is comforting and unsettling at the same time. Also I read somewhere a few days back that all human beings are at least 1/50th cousin of each other. Hence the word cousin too is relative. It surely does not have an exact definition and that give me the prerogative to nullify the concept of Cousinism altogether!

So dear so called cousin, move over. I have plenty of other cousins in the world to hang out with and have a wonderful  life to share with them. I am freeing you from the moral obligation of being my cousin and vice versa. Stop interfering in my life unnecessarily and if you are too ashamed of the fact that I am your cousin, believe me the feeling is mutual and at the same time you might want to crib more on the fact that you had a cousin like Adolf Hitler and not me! I have defined it for you that we are related biologically and aren’t related  sociologically, so now I would highly appreciate if you understand the causal relativity of my space and time.

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9 thoughts on “The relativity of Cousinism

  1. I think the idea of ‘cousinism’ as you put is particular to the Indian context. Not seen it so much in other societies.

  2. I think it is pretty much the same everywhere, where the kinship bond is stronger.

  3. Your cousin on said:

    Haha! You fart sideways 😀

  4. Charvee on said:

    “COUSINS are the first friends most people ever have when they are children. No one will ever understand your crazy family like your cousin. Even if you haven’t talked much lately” we have been fed this since social networking became a part of us. And these canned sentiments of some tom dick harry have made Cousins such a lovely concept. Yes that’s my point, when it comes to the “concept of cousins”, its lovely, but reality is always gut wrenching 🙂

  5. I understand what you mean. The things we are taught believing and the things that we experience when we move outside the bubble.

  6. comedian on said:

    can this concept be extended to parenthood ? food for thought.

  7. I can sooo relate to you…my feelings are mutual.

  8. For me few of my cousins were my friends first. I later developed the sense and meaning of the said word. but as you said one cant get along with everyone.

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