I have been seeking loneliness of the purest order. There is too much noise around. I can feel everyone’s curious eye peering through the crevasse of my laughter. Even I, am only making noise. Not laughing. The boys whistle at me and the girls wink at me. I politely refuse their advances. I do not want to be their beloved. I am nobody’s beloved but mine. I want to romance myself, just for a bit. It has been a long time.
My favorite part of the day is when the sky is a tinge of dark orange at sunset. Catching a glimpse of that masterpiece is no justice to it. If you look closer and feel harder, you can sense the fragrance of tangerine at this time. It has happened many times in the past, not anymore though. I just don’t have the time or when I do have the time, I am not alone to treasure this moment. This has been bothering me to an extent that I pray hard to be left alone these days.
Then all of a sudden, I learned a new word today. Hypethral. It means to be ‘wholly or partly open to the sky’. Beautiful. I believe that words will only find you when you seek their meaning. And I would like to be open to the Sky. I have been in part and as a whole seeking the vast solitude that the skies possess. It is also not about being alone, it is also about looking higher from where your eyes draw a parallel. I am looking up for something. I don’t know what it is as of now but I know it will find me just as the word found me today. It has started. I can feel it.